The Beginning

We choose our beginnings and all of the decisions we make from that point forward take us to the end result of our lives.  Until I had children I had no beginning.  My life was a series of events, many leading to successes while sprinkled with some failures along the way.  As Bob Dylan said, “There is no success like failure, and failure’s no success at all.”  My goals were superficial and hence my life illustrated that in the way it was lived.  A selfish life is one that is turned in upon itself. Even though life feels acceptable there is a nagging dissatisfaction lurking in its depths that eludes definition and this haunts us.  Because we cannot define this illusive emptiness in our lives, we are  unable to satisfy it.  This vacant space is created by self interests.  We know our lives are selfish when our happiness is fleeting.  We are not fulfilled and consequently, always hungry.

When we devote ourselves to purpose and commitment we begin to fill those empty corners. I was told I could not have children.  I accepted this and devoted myself to building a career.  I told myself I did not want children anyway.  I became pregnant soon after my career took off and then had another child 22 months later.  Now I had two when I thought I would have none.  Life was never the same after the moment of their birth.  My sons took me on amazing journeys into spaces I did not know existed.  They led the way and I followed.  Every time I tried to lead they jumped into areas unknown to me and their innocence opened paths for all of us to follow.

This blog is about devotion, commitment, innocence, home schooling, parenting, family and Faith.  It is about symbols and signals that children give us in order to communicate their needs.  As a culture we have lost the skill of interpreting their signals.  We have let them down.  They are waiting.